th IMPERFECT girl that is STRUGGLING so hard to meet th EXPECTATIONS of this CRUEL WORLD with nothing but a PAPERHEART on her that is TORN and WEATHERED by HARSH CIRCUMSTANCES.
dunno why but just dun feel like me this days. feel simply terrible.. haix. lobsters. but nvm. the lord is with me. but sometimes i still really dun feel him there. i must get closer to him, our relationship must be stronger, yeah.
trust.
3 months plus.. why cant i forget? i mean.. we've been toking to each other on n off, on n off. the three of them. 2 man 1 lady. haha. now i realised something. i got closer to the guy tt i have always wanted to tok to in sec 1. but now, the guy tt i have baan toking to since sec 1. is like ignoring me la. not ignore. but like.. refusing to help me stand. he left me to climb up alone after the painful fall. he forsaked me, thinkin it was the best choice, but he was wrong. totally wrong. he tot tt that could make me more indepentdant and less dependabt on him n SOME others around me. but im still crawling. Claudia says i look weaker and weaker each day, both physically and emotionally. she saw. everything. cos i told her. i may be laughing, playing, smiling. but deep within, if u look closely, look into my eyes and by chance may see the tears forcefully controlled. the fire within me has dimmed. im dont tok as much as i do. cos there is no one. hence, when i get the chance, i need to let everything out. do u noe how many times i cried after each conversation? after ach time i let the steam out? i cried to myself resentfully everyday, thinking why i am lidat. i really hate it and when i read his words, of how he loved and died for me, i cant help but cry again. his sciptures. he had always been there. it was me tt's too foolish, not wanting to find him. but i dunno. i want to complete my work here; on this earth. i want to reach out to souls, bring them to this heavenly father tt cared so much for me.
